Im still a virgin help me out!

[rosaliehale123 (deleted)]

Right hey everyone so the subject says it all really. Im 22years old and still a virgin. Ive had a few boyfriends but none serious. Ive always said, to family, friends and more importantly to myself that I wont have --- until im in love. I dont think im asking for much, im not saying im saving myself for marriage or anything but ive just always thought I would love the first person I ever sleep with and hopefully every other person after that lol. But now im 22 and ive never been in love and to be honest I dont know if I ever will be, so I dont really know what to do. I do want to have --- but now I feel like I can't "just get it over with" because ive made it into this big thing. So please any insight, help and advice will be very helpful thanks x

[southernfinery]

`hi rosaliehale123 how are you doing dear?I read your post and I think it is awesome that you are saving yourself for something more than a one night stand.Imo when we just participate in the --- with no background or a relationship that includes background then we are setting ourselves up to sabbatoge our own self-worth and self-respect.I don't believe that any woman can have --- and not feel connected to that guy emotionally.I even believe this about ladies of the evening.I know these ladies can turn off their emotions at will or can they?Their not machines and neither are you.We ladies start dreaming about love and lovemaking but very seldom does what we dream actually become reallity and we blame ourselves.So imo when your ready for such intimacy then your heart and head will get on the same page and the decision will not even be a concern GBU

[sosterma (deleted)]

`Keep your V card! The fact that you have been able to stay a virgin for this long is an accomplishment. Its hard to find someone who is out of their teens and still a virgin. You have made a goal for yourself, and you should keep it. It evidently means a lot to you, or you would not have made it this long, especially with having boyfriends. I also think that you would be disappointed if you just had --- just to have ---. You are looking for someone to make love with not have ---. There is a huge difference. You would probably like it, but there would be something missing and you would be able to tell.

Hold on tight to what you have, make a prove to you that he is worth it. You have a gift that is hard to find, and the right man will work hard for it!

[rosaliehale123 (deleted)]

`@southernfinery

Im doing good thank you. Thanks for the reply, and I agree with you I can't just turn my emotions off and I wouldnt want to do that either. I just hope that my heart catches up with my head sooner rather than later lol. Thanks for your kind words.

[rosaliehale123 (deleted)]

`@sosterma

Thankyou so much for your reply it actually brought a tear to my eye!!! Your right I do want to make love and not have --- and I think that is why I havent "just got it over with" I would feel really disappointed and to be honest ashamed of myself if I just gave it to just anyone now, but im just finding it really hard not to just give into temptation lol, not that there is anyone in my life at the moment that I would even consider having --- with. But I do think you hit the nail on the head and the guy should prove to me that he is worthy of this gift I have. Thanks again this has really helped me .

[snrsnsaints]

`Good for you for stickin withsomething you believe in, But i'll tell you what I told a close male friend of mine who is himself a 23 year old virgin. I respect your choice and admire your courage and willpower but your building it up to be something way more than it is, and my bet is when you do ose your virginity you'll just be dissapointed. --- islike riding a bike it sucks at first you have to practice for it to be a good experience. Now don't get me wrong your amazing for your decision just don't expect too much.

[rosaliehale123 (deleted)]

`@snrsnsaints

Hey thanks for your advice. I know what your getting at, and I do think you might be right that im making it into something bigger than it is. But ive wated so long now I just feel like I cant just do it, if you know what I mean lol. But what if I never fall in love, does that mean I stay a virgin forever? Or what if I dont meet "the right guy" till im 30 or 40, im supposed to stay a virgin untill then? That just seems crazy. I just dont know what to do lol.

[kywildflower (deleted)]

`Hi rosaliehale123!! I just joined this site tonight, and just HAD to comment on your post lol. With that being said...

I'm not going to say, "Oh, yay you!!" for still being a virgin no more than I'm going to say, "You're crazy." What I AM going to say is that you are missing out on something freakin' awesome lol. But, I totally get you when you say you want it to be more than just sex, or that you are not going to do it just to get it over with. I am 31 and only this year slept with a guy just for the sake of having --- (with no emotional feelings involved whatsoever) and trust me, it was soooooooo not worth it afterwards. The best --- in the world isn't enough to make up for how it made me feel the next day. I'm simply not the 'One Night Stand' kinda girl, no matter how bad momma needs some action .

My advice is to date, date, and date some more and I guarantee you that you will meet some guys who are attractive to you AND attracted to you enough that you will want things to go further....chemistry IS possible without the confusion of love and drama. Mutual attraction is a very explosive phenomenon!!! Either way, do what's right for YOU. Do what YOU can live with and not feel bad about later. Good luck, girl!

[1957wkw]

You're still young. This may sound odd, but I'm 52 and still a virgin. I was just never very social when younger and never had a girlfriend. I only got into this dating thing after a cousin started chatting with me last summer and got me all interested in women. Now I really want to find a best friend but would not even consider --- until I find a woman I enjoy being with and has a lot of common interests with me. I know I would enjoy it immensely but It has to be with the right one and only after I've been with her a while. :)

[easystreetimage (deleted)]

`It's not my place to judge anyone for being a virgin or not being a virgin. I just have a theory that for women, losing your virginity is not a pre-requisite for being a "real" woman, but for a man it is necessary to be a real "man" and developing the confidence it takes to pursue women and have "success". Really, a woman ought to get it done sometime by age 25 or so while for a man it really needs to be done by age 19 or 20. The reason is that those ages reflect how well your social life is going. And if you're dating and getting into one-on-one romantic situations on a regular basis, --- will happen soon. Likewise, not having a --- life after a certain age means that you have probably not developed the social skills and relationship skills that are needed to maximize your happiness in life. But you dont just have --- to beat the virginity label. Women do it to express love and men to confirm they "got it" with women.

[justans91 (deleted)]

`I know this is a former members post and she probably doesnt check in on it anymore but I feel like I should put my two cents worth in. They way I see if if you want to have --- and your virginity just isnt that important to you and you want to experience it go ahead. Im not saying that abstinence isnt cool but hell if it's not that important to you dont let your inexperience stop you from doing the deed. Im tired of hearring " oh I really regret losing it it wasnt special at all", well so what if it wasnt special? It was your first time. Your bound to feel a bit awkward it's your first time your not going to be amazing at --- right off the bat.

[damik1985 (deleted)]

`Wow, justans91.

it must be nice to be so small of mind.

[justans91 (deleted)]

`I don't see anything wrong with my post. I think its absolutely relevant to how alot of people feel.